Holy shit I’m back! Sorry for the hiatus but I was at the North Pole bare-knuckle boxing polar bears (I was 16-0 with 5 knockouts and 3 kills) and ding-dong ditching Superman’s Fortress of Solitude.
There will be updates posted soon, including why Tumblr sucks ass and an epic tale of my adolescent depravity. Before you navigate away from my sight to a porn site, to most assuredly break your lent promise not to pull your pork, I’d like to leave you with this short story.
I was walking to class on Thursday, and as I was nearing Speakers Circle (a place on campus where any jackass can spout nonsense anytime of day) when I heard something peculiar. I thought my mind was playing tricks, “surely people aren’t shouting ‘vagina’ this time of day.” But people were shouting “vagina.” I picked up my pace assuming that free vaginas were being handed out. It turned out that it was just a bunch of dykes advertising for the Vagina Monologues. So I did what any mature person would do; I started yelling “penis” every time the dykes yelled “vagina.” I thought it was comical, and it made it like a sexy game of Marco Polo. Apparently, others found it in poor taste. I was asked to leave and not to attend the Vagina Monologues.
